I remember the need for speed line from the movie Top Gun, and wish that I were talking about flying a jet. Instead, I am talking about this middle-aged woman obtaining enough raw energy to fuel me through downsizing, two moves, new furniture and a full work schedule — all happening in the next 30 days.
The story I’m telling myself is that I’m exhausted, which I kind of am, but not really. I’m confused, apparently, but not exhausted. If I think about it, I’m oddly energized. It’s nervous energy, but I’ll take what I can get.
I think Newton had it right – a body in motion stays in motion; a body at rest tends to stay at rest.
Rather than sitting like a lump of flour in front of the television, I find myself making calls and moving furniture and filling boxes. Instead of eating Sour Cream and Onion potato chips, I find myself eating BBQ Potato Chips. No big difference there, but I thought I’d mention it.
As I hustle, my body seems to be limbering up. I remember a few years ago when I found out that I had two frozen shoulders, a discovery made after I terrified a McDonald’s drive-thru employee by screaming in pain when I handed her my money. Frozen shoulder is a condition in which bands of adhesive tissues surround the shoulder ligament making it painful to move your arm.
During physical therapy I realized that my shoulders were so used to not moving that they were just closing up shop. “I guess the ligaments aren’t needed here any longer,” they said as my arms stayed in one position all day in front of the computer. And my shoulders began to mummify.
It’s true. We are biodegradable. Nature knows this, and will start shutting down anything that is not utilized on a regular basis. This terrifies me slightly when I think about the mindless television shows I watch. Somehow I don’t think Snapped and Ghostly Encounters are going to secure my brain’s future.
So what am I learning?
I’ve noticed that as I run around like a crazy lady, my mind is a little sharper. My comments are just a tiny bit wittier. My mood is a slightly more elevated. My family might not agree with this assessment, but they’re not writing this story. And I like the way it’s sounding.
I am learning that once the dust settles, I need to keep moving lest I become part of the dust. I’m going to walk more, meet friends more, and read more. I might even work on finishing my Master’s Degree. I was sure I didn’t have time for that, but now I wonder. Perhaps the less I did, the less I thought I could do.
I haven’t been blogging as much because I gave myself the excuse that I’m too busy. But if Oprah can come up with another breakthrough idea while losing weight and writing a book and running a show and going to parties and hanging out with Stedman and her best friend Gayle, then I can too.
To mix even more metaphors, “build it and they will come” could be as true for my body and mind as it is for Kevin Costner and his baseball field. If I live my life “as if,” my body and mind will step up to make the more energized me possible.
And, as they said in Top Gun – “Mustang, this is Voodoo 3. Remaining MiGs are bugging out.”
I have no idea what that quote means, but it sounded very energized.