Many of you have asked me to provide my definition of a true Dame. Okay, only a few of you have actually asked and that number includes the woman in Kroger with 100 coupons who thought I called her Dame when I actually called her lame.
One very inquisitive writer, however, did pose the question. Her name is D. A. Wolf and she’s asked me to be a contributor to her site, Daily Plate of Crazy. By the way, if you want to be challenged by a unique, intelligent perspective on almost anything under the sun, I highly recommend that you peruse her site. Her writing is so brilliant I’m actually terrified to have mine anywhere near it. But I think you all deserve to know my viewpoint on being a Dame since at least three of you have asked.
Before we establish what a Dame is, here are a few things that a Dame is NOT.
- A Dame is not a mean girl who ostracizes women at meetings social gatherings because she thinks she’s too cool for them. Yes, this is for you blonde girl in high school who ignored me at that party.
- A Dame doesn’t apologize because she forgot to cook dinner for her family, especially when everyone’s grown. Men, women and children all come with the same equipment, which includes a brain, arms, legs, and a microwave.
- A Dame does not worry about sleepwear. She can wear a lacy nightgown, a thong, or pajamas that have football helmets all over them. You can guess which one of those choices represents my sleepwear.
- A Dame doesn’t worry about weight. Instead, she considers weighty topics, she weighs options, and she worries more about the scales of justice than the bathroom scales. The scale-shaped hole in my bathroom wall can attest to that fact.
- A Dame is not compelled to do what others do. I have been known to call a chop block while watching a football game and simultaneously reading 50 Shades of Grey. To be honest, I’ve never read 50 Shades of Grey. But from what I’ve heard about it I bet there’s a scene that involves a chop block.
Being a Dame is more about spirit than physical appearance. There’s plenty of that spirit at Daily Plate of Crazy, so stop by and enjoy my column, “There’s Nothin’ Like a Dame,” and look forward to more where that came from.
Feel free to leave comments. Then D. A. will think that I’m popular, which is something a Dame never worries about, so please forgive me for stepping out of my Dame-ness for this moment of self-promotion.